


bind, bond, break

by Lyre (Lyrecho)



Series: tomonari final remix [5]
Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: (unless i retroactively decide that it does), Gen, Introspection, Namine-centric, Tomonari Final Remix, a reminder that tomonari was written in 2016, but mostly yeah ignore kh3, does not apply here, namine and the no good very bad terrible day, so anything revealed in kh3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:40:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26353579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyrecho/pseuds/Lyre
Summary: Namine's spent a year waiting for Sora to wake up. A whole year, doing her very best to ensure that he does.Surrounded by cold, unyielding white, she almost wishes he'd sleep forever.|Tumblr||Twitter|
Relationships: Naminé & Sora
Series: tomonari final remix [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1487975
Kudos: 6





	bind, bond, break

There was a world, one among many - but this one, Namine had been especially drawn to, particularly the mythology of it.

It was a world that Sora had visited many times; she had seen his frequent trips to the tournaments held at the coliseum with a smile always on her face. Sora had loved Olympus, more so than many of the other worlds he had encountered. He was, after all, both a warrior and a child at heart - he loved the fight, breathed it, but _battle_ wasn't appealing to him. The life and death struggle he'd found himself in as a child forced to grow up far too fast was something he longed to turn from; just as he wanted so, _so_ very much to bring balance and light back to the realms before returning to the Destiny Islands where Kairi awaited them, with Riku in tow. It just wasn't fun to him, like fighting with Riku and his friends had been on the Destiny Islands. It was duty, and like a blade duty could - and _would_ \- cut. For as long as he held the Keyblade, he was destined to a life of battle, and that _hurt_.

But the coliseum at Olympus had been different, somehow. Fights there - even when dangerous, even with high stakes - were fun, at least when compared to the confusion Riku's actions in Maleficent’s service brought about, and the worry for Kairi that was his constant companion, even more so than either Goofy or Donald.

Sora was, for the most part, an incredibly cheerful and optimistic young man. Far more so than Roxas (especially near the end, those last few months spent in the Organization's company), being in his mind was almost soothing. There were dark memories, of course: memories of pain and a deep, ugly rage that Namine always shied away from, instead seeking shelter in lighter times, Sora's joy like a refuge to her. And she couldn't lie - those worlds that brought Sora such simple joy, reminiscent of childhood memories spent on the salt-white and sky-blue shores of the Destiny Islands were intriguing to her, and DiZ's library was full of all kinds of knowledge.

The myths of Olympus had been one of the first things she had stumbled upon.

The tale of three divine brothers, and how Hades had become ruler of the Underworld in the first place. Pages and pages dedicated to legends of mortal heroes - some the children of gods, some not. The muses, who gifted artists with inspiration for their chosen medium.

Namine could see facets of herself in most of the stories, small lines or characters she could empathise, resonate with - perhaps most of all, the tale of Aphrodite and her birth.

She wasn't conceited enough to consider herself a goddess of love or beauty, or on the same level as such a being, but like her, Aphrodite had been born of a fluke, an accident, created by a clash of sky and sea. 

And, like her, Aphrodite had never seemed to know when to leave well enough _alone_.

The goddess had been a meddler in the worst way, always playing at manipulation for the sake of what she had called 'love.' Namine's motivations had never been so noble (for a given value of the term) - they had been purely selfish, and born out of fear.

She'd wanted to redeem herself - had spent the past year doing nothing but that, wanting so desperately to fix what she had broken, undo the wrongs she had made - but now - but now - 

Now, she was back to square one, further, even: not only was she trapped once more, but this time Sora was with her, pawn and ace both held firmly in the Organization's grasp.

Xemnas didn't want Sora to have his memory back. He wanted to use him, and though it hurt her heart and tore at her soul, Namine had gritted her teeth and quietly agreed. The two of them couldn't escape, not just yet - they would be watched far too closely, and neither of them had the necessary skills or equipment to leave the World That Never Was in the first place. Their only hope for freedom from the Organization (beyond the obvious of Riku, somehow, rescuing them - Namine could only hope and pray that all she had given over to Roxas would give him inclination to lend a hand) was to lull them into a false sense of security, of complacency, via cooperation.

Xemnas would never fall for it, she knew, and Xigbar and Luxord were always suspicious of _everyone_ , including the other members of the Organization and their leader - but, when it came down to it, the greatest threat to this plan was Saix. She didn't know much about the Nobody who acted as Xemnas' proxy frequently; while she had encountered Xemnas shortly after her creation in Hollow Bastion, and the others in the Organization had come and gone from Castle Oblivion, the only way she knew Saix was through Roxas' memories.

Saix had _terrified_ Roxas - or, at least, that was what he had labelled it after he had gained enough awareness to put name to what he was feeling; to her it felt like ice cold _horror_ , Roxas somehow managing to pick up on the fact that there was something deeply wrong with the man that curled up a lip whenever he saw him by Axel's side.

If Namine let Sora keep his memories, their only hope would be to _act_ as if he didn't have them...something she wasn't quite sure Sora was capable of in the first place, never mind the fact that she was about one hundred percent certain that Saix and Xemnas both would see right through it.

And...if Xemnas was right, if he had been telling the truth earlier, and not simply trying to make Namine doubt herself - doubt Sora - then - then...

She shook her head, dislodging all those dark thoughts that had somehow crawled their way into her mind. It didn't matter, she told herself. _It didn't matter_.

But even though she had conceded to Xemnas' wishes when the man had led them to a room, high up in the castle (with white walls and white furnishings, _of course_ ), placing Sora down on the bed with strict orders as to what, exactly, Namine was expected to do, she hadn't _erased_ his memory - a whole years’ worth of work! - just simply removed a single link from the chain, one that could be reforged and reconnected easily enough, given the right triggers.

Of course, getting said triggers in place would probably be a bit more difficult than Namine would like, but the point was that Sora would not _lose_ his memories as Xemnas wanted, not in the most technical sense. They were, after all, still there - just out of reach. A small, petty victory, and one that she could never boast about, but a victory nonetheless, and it brought a smile to her face.

That smile faded, though, when she thought about the other orders Xemnas had given to her.

He had to know how to fight, how to summon his Keyblade and cast magic; had to know how to function in daily life, how to read and speak and do arithmetic, and it was _scary_ that Xemnas had felt the need to specify that. Xemnas wanted Sora, but not like Marluxia had wanted Sora at Castle Oblivion. Marluxia had wanted Sora the way he had been when he had fought against Ansem and Maleficent, since it was that strength that had drawn him to the idea of using the Keyblade Master in the first place, just twisted and distorted enough that he would have an unbreakable, fanatical loyalty to Namine - whom Marluxia had thought he'd had complete control over (and well, really, until the very end, he _had_ ).

Xemnas didn't want that. He wanted Sora, but only because it was Sora that wielded the Keyblade. If it had been Riku instead, that would not have changed his plans any. He'd been perfectly content to use Roxas until he had deserted, at least, and she might not have had any real idea of what Xemnas wanted a Keyblade wielder for, but she knew that it was far from personal. As long as whoever was holding the Keyblade functioned as they were meant to: as a Keyblade wielder, he would be perfectly content. The only problem with Sora, as far as he could see, was his memory - a problem that could be solved easily, then, with a complete lack thereof.

The only thing, in the end, that Xemnas had allowed Sora to keep was his name.

 _We have no need for another Roxas_ , he had smirked. _I suppose he can keep the name for now_.

It was with that parting shot that he had left, the door clicking shut behind him. Namine hadn't even bothered leaving her seat beside the bed to check whether they were locked in or not, because she knew that they weren't. Xemnas was confident in his ability to keep them trapped here without the need for chains or bars or locks, and he was right to be.

Namine sighed, and reached forward to gently push hair out of Sora's face, where it had fallen into his eyes. Sora's nose scrunched at her light touch, and she knew he was very close to awakening, his rest now more a natural sleep than the deep coma it had been for the past year.

It had been hard to see while he had been kept enclosed within the pod, but Sora had grown quite a bit while he slept. He was taller, limbs now long enough that his clothes were visibly too small for him, and probably quite uncomfortable. His hair had lengthened as well, long enough to brush against his shoulders if not for the spikes it formed.

Physically, he should be fine, that had been the whole point of keeping him in the pod while he slept, after all - but mentally? She wasn't too sure. His memory had been tweaked, likely far more than was healthy, and if what Xemnas had said was true...

She sighed, and her hand trailed down, away from where it hovered over Sora's eyes to press down on the pillow he rested on, right beside his head. Xemnas, for some reason, had been kind enough to provide Sora with bedding, and it was with a bitter laugh and clenched fists that Namine wondered if the same courtesy would be extended to her, or if - after she had fulfilled her purpose - she would be thrown be thrown into the soundless prison she _knew_ was located here, somewhere, kept alive only as insurance to make sure Sora stayed under control. After all, even her power wasn't absolute, nor permanent, and Xemnas was smart enough to know that, given enough time, Riku and Kairi at the very least would return to Sora's memories - because even had she wanted to, Namine would not be able to erase the two of them from his heart.

For a brief moment, Namine considered waking him up right then. His slumber was still deep enough that just touching him wouldn't pull him to awareness, but with just a brush against his consciousness Namine could manage it - and even if Sora no longer remembered her, just having him by her side would be immensely comforting.

She'd always been lonely, but never before had that sensation translated to terror as it did now. She hated white walls, hated what they reminded her of, what they would always represent to her: a prison. And these particular walls seemed steeped with a malice that was almost... _sentient_. The Castle That Never Was was, after all, an amalgamation of different places, fallen worlds, pulled together and managed by the Organization, responding to their will. And, Nobody or not, Namine couldn't claim that same power or protection. She was, quite literally, in enemy territory, and her only ally wouldn't even know who she was once he opened his eyes.

In the end, after considering the pros and cons of waking Sora up while gnawing at the nail on her thumb, Namine decided that it was probably best to just let it be, for now. There was no telling how Xemnas - or whoever it was that was watching over them, because she wasn't foolish enough to believe that he had left them _completely_ alone and unattended - would react to her bringing Sora back to the land of the living while it was just the two of them in the room. 

And so, biting at her lip and fighting back tears, Namine drew her legs up, hugged her knees to her chest, and curled up awkwardly in the chair by the head of Sora's bed - determined to get at least a few hours’ sleep.

 _Maybe tomorrow will be better_ , she thought.

So of course, when Namine awoke, it was to a stiff neck and one more person in the room then there had been when she had closed her eyes.

Or, well, half of a person. The Organization’s number nine, Demyx, leant up against the wall beside the doorway to the room, humming under his breath absentmindedly.

He froze when he saw Namine looking his way.

“Uh, hi,” he said, and grinned somewhat stiffly at her. When she didn’t respond, he let out an awkward laugh. 

Slowly, Namine uncurled from her position on her chair, never taking her eyes from Demyx. He seemed friendly, and Roxas’ memories confirmed that he was, at least to a certain point, genuinely nice – but Roxas had been a member of the Organization, whereas for the entirety of her short life Namine had been nothing but a prisoner...and she knew something about just how disarmingly charming the Nobodies of the Organization could be when they wanted to. If Demyx was in this room, it wasn’t because he was feeling lonely or wanted a chat – it was because he was their warden, guarantee and reminder sent directly by Xemnas so she wouldn’t forget what would happen should she make an attempt at escape.

Her spine felt like she’d tried to bend it over backwards at some point during her rest, but she paid the ache no mind as she turned her attention to Sora after making certain that Demyx would not move from his position by the door.

His breathing was deep and easy, like it had been when she had dozed off, but instead of lying prone on his back, still and immovable as he had been since he had gone under, he was now lying curled on his side - his back to the wall, his face turned into the pillow; at some point during the night he had slipped under the quilt on the bed and was now burrowed in it, having pulled it up to his neck.

It was a cute picture - an adorable one, really - but that wasn't what made Namine's breath catch audibly in her throat.

Demyx yelped. "Ah - er, what is it? Is he like, okay?" He let out the weak laugh Namine was becoming sure was a nervous tic of his. "Because if he isn't, the Superior will totally kill me, you know?"

Namine ignored Demyx, entirely focused on Sora - because that one small thing, that blanket tucked and held tightly around his shoulders, was proof of consciousness rising to the forefront of his mind; proof that soon he would wake without any help or nudging from Namine, which...shouldn't be possible, not really, considering his sleep was far from natural in the first place. She decided not to worry about it.

Holding back the urge to start sobbing with relief as a weight she hadn't even realised she was carrying around vanished, Namine ducked her head briefly in thanks, surreptitiously wiping away the tears that had formed without her permission in the corners of her eyes.

"Um?" Demyx said, uncertainty in his tone, and Namine jumped about a foot in the air, whirling in her seat to face him with wide eyes.

He was wearing an Organization cloak, of course - even if here, in the World That Never Was, the risk of being corrupted by darkness was entirely void, as this non-world was an existence outside of the realms of both light and darkness, a world not aligned to either extreme but rather a world holding the attribute of 'nothingness' - but it was undone, and hanging off his shoulder in a careless way that made Namine think he either wasn't taking this whole guard duty thing seriously, or he only felt the need to dress neatly when representing the Organization off of its homeworld; he was wearing a pair of worn jeans and a plain blue t-shirt underneath the coat that had Namine blinking at how... _regular_ it was. Take away the coat, and you'd have any regular human boy in his late teens, ready for a summer afternoon, just hanging out - and his mannerisms didn't really help with dispelling that idea any.

She narrowed her eyes at him. Roxas' observations of the number nine hadn't suggested to her that Demyx was in any way capable of deception, but even if _he_ wasn't, the only reason she could think of that Xemnas would send this particular Organization member to watch over her and Sora was to disarm her - for whatever twisted reason his twisted mind had told him was necessary.

“He’s fine,” she said shortly. “What does Xemnas want me to do now?” Her tone was blunt, cold – and gratifyingly, Demyx flinched at how casually she used Xemnas’ name.

Furtively, shoulders hunched, he glanced around before locking eyes with her, his face pale and his expression uncertain. 

“You’re…Namine, right?” He asked her, and his gaze was just as wary as hers was. “Why did you leave?” There was an innocent sort of curiosity – confusion – in his voice, and Namine felt her breath catch in her throat as she remembered that a lot of the members of the Organization weren’t doing what they were doing because they _wanted_ to hurt people – but because they wanted their hearts back, and in the meanwhile their lack of hearts made it so that they couldn’t see anything wrong with cutting down whoever got in their way. It was something that had incensed Riku - how Xemnas was gathering up the empty shells of strong willed people as cogs, mere pawns in his plan – whatever said plan was – simply because they would see no reason not to obey him, not when he could give them the one thing they wanted when no-one else could.

But what that fact meant was that a lot of the members of the Organization never even thought of leaving after they had settled in. Even Marluxia and Larxene at Castle Oblivion, even Vexen, always ridiculed by the others – they had never given consideration to the idea of turning their backs on Xemnas’ Organization and throwing off the coat; no, they had attempted to take the Organization for their own. For the Nobodies – for her very own kind – the Organization wasn’t the danger it was to Riku, or DiZ, or Sora or the worlds. It was a place where they could find some small modicum of safety or belonging, and unlike Roxas (born under the same special circumstances she was) whom had had no memory of his life before he’d lost his heart, as his heart was still held by his original thanks to Kairi, the others in the Organization could all recall their human lives, and _chose_ to stay with the Organization.

Maybe it was because their worlds had not simply been attacked by Heartless but had fallen to darkness. Maybe it was because their lack of hearts – lack of sentimentality – meant they saw no reason to return to their homeworld if it happened to still be there. Maybe it was because the Organization had been the first place many of them knew after their awakening as a new being, and habit kept them there. 

Whatever the reason was, Namine knew Demyx’s question had come because he honestly didn’t understand why she would leave – after all, she was a Nobody, automatically making her public enemy number one to anyone in the know, so why would she so willingly place herself in danger? That’s not what Nobodies did. Nobodies, being unable to truly feel emotion without hearts, were creatures of the mind and logic. Logic insisted that the most important thing in existence was one’s own survival, and thus banding together with other Nobodies was smart, because at least then any betrayals would come from some sort of personal slight, rather than the irrationality of the emotions of those with hearts.

On the reverse, siding against the Organization with people who had hearts – people whom could never understand them and would seek to stop them – wasn’t smart, not really. And Namine had never really considered herself a member of the Organization – their prisoner, maybe, but not one of them – had even gone out of her way to make it clear as much as she could that she stood outside of them; wearing white, choosing her own name, never fighting for the sake of the orders Saix gave in the place of Xemnas. And once it had become clear that she wouldn’t change her mind on those matters, Xemnas had had her confined permanently to Castle Oblivion (though she had spent most of her life there, she knew he had hoped that he would be able to one day move her to the World That Never Was, to keep her even more firmly under his thumb) with Marluxia as her watcher – a man he’d known she wouldn’t risk crossing, even if his loyalty to Xemnas himself was lacking.

But while that was true, Xemnas had needed to present a unified front, and the little blonde witch in the secondary base was perhaps the worst kept open secret in the Organization. Even if she wasn’t talked about, she was known, and in a very fleeting sense had been one of them. But then she had left, and the members assigned to Castle Oblivion had been wiped out, and Roxas had deserted; Xemnas’ façade of unity shattered.

And now, curiosity, questions – one of the few things that Xemnas had likely discouraged among the remaining members of the Organization – that had probably been forming in the backs of the minds of some of the lesser members for a while (maybe even since Castle Oblivion) had a place to seek answers.

Her.

Namine felt her body tense. Demyx had never been one of the members at risk of betraying Xemnas’ Organization, but if Namine answered his question – which she was nearly one hundred percent certain was asked out of genuine curiosity, nothing else – with even just _one_ wrong word, there was no telling what Xemnas would do to her, because out of the three people in the room, she was the most disposable, the one with the least value.

“I… _left_ ,” she said finally, “because I needed to look after him.” Without any conscious input from her, her gaze flicked over to rest on Sora, and from the corner of her eye, saw Demyx nod once, a thoughtful expression on his face.

“Yeah, they said he was important,” he said, his tone and manner openly friendly, which only served to press Namine’s nerves even closer to the edge. “He’s Roxas, right?”

Namine, already tense, felt her body stiffen to the point that she almost thought her bones would snap. “Sora,” she said. “His name is Sora.”

A flash of confusion made its way across Demyx’ face, but he didn’t give her any response other than a nod, and as they fell once more back into silence, Namine found herself puzzling through Demyx’s words.

 _They said he was important_.

It wasn’t so much the words themselves that had caught Namine’s attention – of course Sora was important to Xemnas, she _knew_ that – but the way he had phrased them.

She’d said, _I left to look after Sora_.

Demyx had said, _they said he was important_.

The two were random sentences, seemingly with no connection...unless something about what she had said had clicked something into place for Demyx, especially since now, leaning back up against the wall, humming a tune she didn’t recognise under his breath absently – the number nine seemed far more relaxed then he had been when she’d first woken up.

Xemnas was trying to play it off, the fact that she’d left with Riku and DiZ, and with Sora in tow – trying to play it off by making it seem as if he’d intended for it to happen all along, as if the whole act of her ‘desertion’ was with the intent of bringing Sora back here.

She gritted her teeth as the realisation hit, but didn’t speak out against what Demyx thought was the truth – whatever faint trust that false idea would give her was a leverage she couldn’t give up easily, no matter how sour that decision tasted as it settled inside her.

She huffed out a breath, crossed her arms and stared at Sora, still snuggled deeply underneath the blanket that was as pale as everything else in the room – including the cheap wooden chair she was perched on, painted and varnished over with its own coat of white. As if sensing her gaze on him, a crease formed between his brows before smoothing out, a mumble of something nonsensical being murmured out as his head turned and shifted in his sleep.

“You think he’ll wake up soon?” Demyx’s voice was curious, loud, and came suddenly enough that Namine flinched.

“…Probably,” she said finally, after a moment’s hesitation.

He hissed out a breath through his teeth, and whirled to face the door. “Don’t move,” he said as he pulled the door open, giving her an almost stern look over his shoulder. “The Superior will want to be here when he does.”


End file.
